GD LUCK ALL FOR YOUR OLVLS. :DDDD
ALL THE BEST!

RL.

♥Bid Farewell

This is the transcript of an actual radio conversation of a US naval
ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in
October 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval
Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid
a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to

avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND
LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE
ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND
NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR
COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR
COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF
THIS SHIP.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call

♥Bid Farewell

♥Bid Farewell

♥Bid Farewell

more lame jokes, filched it off the forums

Names not to give.
Anne Chang (Mandarin) - Dirty
Anne Chin (Mandarin) - Keep quiet
Faye Chen (Mandarin) - Dusty
Carl Cheng (Hokkien) - Buttock
Monica Cheng (Hokkien) - Touching your buttocks
Lucy Leow (Hokkien) - You are dead
Jane Tan (Mandarin) - Frying eggs
Suzie Leow (Hokkien) - Lost till death
Henry Mah (Mandarin) - Hate your mum
Corrine Tai (Hokkien) - Poor fellow
Paul Chan (Mandarin) - Bankrupt
Nelson Tan (Mandarin) - Bird laying eggs
Leslie Tong (Mandarin) - Rubbish bin
Carmen Tng (Hokkien) - Leg hair long
Connie Mah (Cantonese) - Call your mother
Danny See (Hokkien) - Squeeze you to death
Rosie Teng (Hokkien) - Screws and nails
Pete Tsai (Hokkien) - Nose droppings
Macy Koh (Cantonese) - Never die before
Lim Yew Lin - Drink (Hokkien) urine


didnt read the next few so if not funny dont blame me

*First joke*There were these 3 ants , they were on a picnic with a loving couple. The first ant slept in the woman's hair , the second ant slept in her bossoms , the third ant slept in between her legs . The next morning , the first ant says "I slept badly as her hair was wet" , the second ant says "T slept horribly as her bossoms were heavy" , the third ant says "I didn't sleep at all because some one came in and started to bump me around and then a minute later he sneezed on me"

*Second joke*A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead. "I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts,"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?""i know," he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it..."

*Third joke*A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"She replied, "Im having a baby."With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"She said, "He sure is."Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby."With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked..."Then why did you eat him?"

*Forth joke One day a little indian boy walked up to the chief and said "Me ready for women."The chief said "Before you can have a real women, you must go into the woods and practice on the trees for three days"The Indian boy said "Ok," and went off into the woods.Three days later, he returns and says "Me ready for women."The Indian cheif says "Pick out any woman you want and take her inside the teepee."The boy picked a women, escorted her into the teepee and said "Take off all your clothes, bend over and grab your ankles." The women asked "Why?", but the boy told her to just to bend over.The women bent over, and the boy kicked her in the ***. "Why the hell did you do that?" she asked."Just checking for bees." replied the boy.

*Firth joke*A woman was having a daytime affair while her husband was at work. One wetand lusty day she was in bed with her boyfriend when, to her horror, sheheard her husband's car pull into the driveway."Oh my God - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window. My husband'shome early!" "I can't jump out the window ~ It's raining out there!" "Ifmy husband catches us in here, he'll kill us both!" she replied. He's got ahot temper and a gun, so the rain is the least of your problems!"So the boyfriend scoots out of bed, grabs his clothes and jumps out thewindow! As he ran down the street in the pouring rain, he quicklydiscovered he had run right into the middle of the town's annual marathon, sohe started running along beside the others, about 300 of them.Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to blend in asbest he could. After a little while a small group of runners who had beenwatching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in thenude?" one asked. "Oh yes!" he replied, gasping for air. "It feels sowonderfully free!"Another runner moved alongside him. "Do you always run carrying yourclothes with you under your arm?" "Oh , yes" our friend answeredbreathlessly. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run andget in my car to go home!Then a third runner cast his eyes a little lower and queried, " Do youalways wear a condom when you run? ""Nope......... just when it's raining".

*Sixth joke*You were riding a bus, when you suddenly fart. Luckily the music is very loud. Every time you farted, you timed it with the music.When you were going down the bus, everybody were throwing dagger looks at you, and you suddenly realized . . . .that you have your MP3 player on your ears !

*Seventh joke*WIFE: It's a miracle! You came home early.HUSBAND: I just obeyed what my boss told me to do. He said: "GO TO HELL",that's why I came home early.

*Eighth joke*John: it's my wife's birthdayPeter: what's your gift to her?John: I asked her what she wantedPeter: what did she said?J: anything, as long a there is a DIAMOND.P: what did you gave her?J: playing cards

*Ninth joke*Teacher: We are descendants of Adam and Eve!Student: That's not t rue! My dad sez we are descendants of an Ape!Teacher: We are not talking about your FAMILY!

*Tenth joke*A boy who was a witness to a crime was on the witness stand in court.The defense attorney ask, "Did anyone tell you what to say in court",approached him?"Yes, sir," answered the boy."I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?""My father, sir.""And what did he tell you?" the attorney asked accusingly."He said that the lawyers would try to get me all tangled up, but ifI stuck to the truth, everything would be all right."

thats all, still got a couple of pics but lazy to post.

quote of the week!
"if theres a will, i want to be in it" -thx bb

riddle time!
Q:what do u give to a person who has everything?
A: ur phone no. ._.


help keep this blog alive! start spamming

♥Bid Farewell